u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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