why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's rum buckets o'clock
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
