If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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