I hate all girls vehemently.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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