playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
