Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize