3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
