The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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