i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
