I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize