I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you still have your period?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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