Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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