woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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