My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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