god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
