were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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