problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
