you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
