Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
