they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
