Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
