Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
