conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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