It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
