i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
