Welp...herpes.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
