I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
