Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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