I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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