Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
