you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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