I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
