His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize