Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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