D3 body, D1 cock
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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