lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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