and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
