is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
