you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You need a sexual gate keeper
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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