you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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