Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
