clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
whose parrot is this?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
