Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
