So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize