Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
