Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
