What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
