Hippo gnu deer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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