i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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