We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
