im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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