Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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