in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
