He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
