I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
