Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize