3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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