When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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