On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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