The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
