i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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