i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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