Can Purell be used as lube?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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