I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize