last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
